Moving On
by SWChica2005
Summary: Starts off where the BtVS season 4 episode "Pangs" left off and goes into Buffy's POV of the beginning of the AtS season 1 episode "I Will Remember You"...


**Disclaimer**: I do not own BtVS or AtS...they are the sole property of Joss Whedon.

**A/N**: It has been awhile since I posted anything here at . I discovered this fic hiding away on my flash drive and decided to edit and finish it for all of you out there. Enjoy and please review!

**A/N 2**: The first two quotes are from the BtVS season 4 episode "Pangs" written by Jane Espenson. The quotes found in the middle all the way to the end are from the AtS season 1 episode "I Will Remember You" written by David Greenwalt and Jeanne Renshaw. And the parts in _italics_ are Buffy's thoughts. And without further ado...I give you "Moving On"!

**Summary**: The missing scene that showed Buffy's reaction to Angel's presence at the end of the episode of "Pangs"...and what leads her to visiting Angel at his office in "I Will Remember You". All from Buffy's POV.

* * *

**MOVING ON**

"Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year." Willow states, getting a look from everyone. "Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times."

Xander stuffed some food in his mouth. "Yeah, especially with Angel being here and everything."

Buffy's head snaps up. Everyone is looking her. Did she hear him correctly? "What?" She couldn't believe what she just heard. Angel had been back in Sunnydale and hadn't bothered to even tell her. Instead of approaching her, he skulked in the shadows. _He had no right._

"Angel was here tonight," Willow said, laying a gentle hand on Buffy's arm. "A friend of his had a vision and you were apparently the main show. Angel came to make sure that everything was okay." She paused. "He was worried about you."

Buffy nodded, her face expressing understanding. But inside she seethed. How dare he do that! He had left Sunnydale – left her. And yet he had come back, hid from her, watched her from the shadows, and then left again. Without even saying hello.

* * *

They got through dinner with light chatter amongst everyone. Even Spike was not as annoying. Willow and Buffy stayed late to help Giles clean up before walking back to their dorm. They talked and laughed. But still Buffy felt a burning anger deep down. Curiosity also stemmed.

When Buffy sensed a break in their conversation, she turned to Willow. She needed to ask the question. "How was he?" she said, wringing her hands in front of her. She tried to keep the hope out of her voice, but failed miserably.

Willow sighed. "He looked good. I want to do the best friend thing and lie and say that he looked horrible and that he can't live without you."

Buffy laughed. "It's ok Will. I'm – I just don't understand why he would come back here and not talk to me."

Willow shrugged. "I donno, Buffy. You know his mind better than I ever did. If it helps, he did look more broody than usual."

"Thanks Will, it does help a little." Buffy sighed. "What doesn't help is that I'll be in LA tomorrow; do you think I should go see him and confront him?"

Willow wrapped her arm around her best friend. "That's a decision you have to make on your own."

* * *

The bus ride to Los Angeles was pretty much in silence. Not too many people going to LA the day after Thanksgiving. Everyone should be with their family already. Buffy stared out the window at the passing cars, immersed in her thoughts.

She was going to LA. Angel's in LA. Should she stop in and speak with him? First she had to find out where he was living. It's not like he left her his address when he left. Oz had found out where he was located a few weeks ago when he brought Angel the Gem of Amarra.

Buffy climbed out of her thoughts long enough to see that they had pulled up in front of the bus station. She grabbed her bag and exited the bus. Glancing at her watch, she noticed it was 8:30am. Her father shouldn't be expecting her at his building this early; just enough time to settle her anger with Angel.

Buffy looked down at the address that Oz had scribbled down for her. She had an idea where the building was located. Buffy maneuvered herself through the LA streets, her overnight bag slung over her shoulder. The address was relatively close to the bus station. She arrived at her destination in 20 minutes. It was a large office building. Buffy could see small apartments located around the building. Angel would live downstairs in the basement.

While she wanted to tell Angel off for returning to Sunnydale without even approaching her, Buffy hesitated in entering the building. Butterflies sprang up in her stomach. She had battled a difficult evil last night; it's hard to fight something that is vengeance in spiritual form. And Angel did help her win that battle. _But he still didn't bother to say 'hello' to me._

She entered the building and saw a sign with the building's occupants. And there was "Angel Investigations". Buffy was still surprised that Angel is actually working as a detective. She tucked the business card she had acquired from Oz into the back pocket of her skirt. It would be nice to have his address and phone number. Buffy located "Angel Investigations" and quietly pushed open the front door. _Here goes everything._

Buffy set her bag down on a chair and took a look around. A clock on the wall read 8:55am. It was a small outer office with a desk against the windows in front of her. A refrigerator with a coffee machine on top lay to her right.

Buffy thought it odd that no one was around. The receptionist desk surprised her; Angel actually had employees. She then finally focused on the voices she suddenly realized were coming from an inner office leading further into the office. Buffy thought she recognized the voice. She crept closer.

"…he always jumps to conclusions. 'Cause you saw Buffy." _Cordelia? What is she doing here with Angel?_ She doesn't remember Oz saying anything about Cordelia working with Angel. But it does explain the desk outside. Back to the conversation; why were they talking about her?

Buffy heard Angel's voice next. "It wasn't a social call. I was there to protect her. I stayed out of sight. She didn't even know I was there." _And I wouldn't have known until Xander opened his mouth._

Buffy heard Cordelia again. "Really? So you avoided her." _Basically._

"Look, Buffy is always going to be a part of me, and that's never going to change. But she's human and I'm…not. And that's also never going to change. We said our good-byes, no need to stir any of this up again." _But you ended up doing just that._

Buffy was debating on leaving when she heard Cordelia's next comment. "You don't want to 'stir', but if my ex came to town and was all stalking me in the shadows and then left and then didn't even say 'hello' I'd be…"

"A little upset." The words were out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying. She saw Angel's mouth drop open. "Wouldn't you?" She stepped into the office, which she assumed was Angel's. Cordelia sat in a chair in front of Angel's desk, a thin man Buffy had never seen before stood beside her. Buffy still couldn't believe that Cordelia Chase worked for Angel. He stood behind his desk, the shocked look still on his face. His handsome face. _Stop it!_

Cordelia brightened, trying to make the awkwardness Buffy could feel in the room go away. "Buffy! Buffy's here – in town. What brings you to…"

"I came to see my father." Buffy looked over to Angel. "Thought I'd stop by." _Wanted to know why you were hiding from me last night._

Cordelia laughed. "What a surprise!"

_Yeah what a surprise; I might as well be nice._ "Cordelia, how are you?"

"Good. I'm good. You?" Buffy could tell that Cordelia wanted to leave her and Angel alone and not be anywhere near the upcoming discussion.

Buffy turned her attention to Angel. "I've been better." _Much better._

"Uh-huh. Well, this is Doyle. And he gets visions of people in trouble." _Ahh, the one who had the vision concerning me._

The man stuck his hand out in Buffy's direction. "Nice to make your…"

Cordelia grabbed Doyle's arm and practically dragged him out of Angel's office. "And this is us leaving you two alone." _Great; we're alone._

Buffy bit her lower lip as she closed the door behind them and then turned back to Angel. She noticed that he couldn't meet her eyes. _He must have guessed why I am here._

Buffy watched as Angel tried to collect his thoughts to form words. "Well, umm, it's good to…Can I get you anything?" _How about getting me to feel happy again, to know that I will love again, your return to Sunnydale?_

She settled for the reason she was in this office to begin with. "How about an explanation? Who do you think you are coming to my town and following me around behind my back?"

"I'm sorry." _He was always sorry, even when he hadn't done anything. But he should be sorry for this._

"What is this? Some new torment you cooked up just for me?" She fought the tears that she felt forming in the corners of her eyes.

"No, I don't want to torment…" _But you are, every day that you are gone._

"What is it? You can see me, but I can't see you? What are we playing here?" _What exactly are we playing here?_

"We're not. I'm not playing anything. I wrestled with this decision…"

"Which you made without me." Again Buffy spoke before her brain acknowledged what Angel said. But it was true; he tended to make decisions that concerned her without consulting her first.

"I tried to do what I thought was right. It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy, you know? It's kind of a long story."

She would have laughed if they weren't in this current situation. "You're new sidekick had a vision, I was in it, you came to Sunnydale?" _Not that long of a story._

Angel considered that for a second. "Okay, maybe not that long."

_Here comes the reason that I am here; the reason I am so bothered by last night._ "You didn't feel that I was important enough to even tell me that you were there."

Angel looked at Buffy and she could still see the love that burned in his eyes. She tried to ignore it; to not let that look quell the anger she still felt inside. "I'm trying to explain. It's because I felt that you're important that I didn't tell you."

_That still gives you no right. _"I'm a big girl now, Angel. I'm not in high school anymore. A lot has happened in my life since you left." _I've cried myself to sleep for months, I just began saying your name again, and I feel like I will never truly smile again._

"I know. I respect that."

"And I don't need you skulking around, trying to protect me." Angel looked away from her and she looked down at her painted toes as well. "Unless, of course, I'm in some gigantic fight to the death, which…I was last night." Buffy paused. "That was you, helping me, wasn't it?" _Of course it was you; Xander and Willow saw you._

"I was in the neighborhood…skulking." Even though she was angry that he chose to hide from her instead of talk to her, Buffy couldn't help but admit to missing him skulking in the shadows; her guardian angel. "I'm sorry if I handled this wrong. I mean, what else was I supposed to do?"

_You could have come to me, told me what your friend Doyle had seen in his vision. Warned me._ But Buffy couldn't say that out-loud. "I don't know. I just know that when you're around, whether I see you or not. I feel you – inside – and it throws me." She really could feel him inside; right now, the tingling at her spine was in overdrive.

"Throws me, too." _At least he also feels the pain that consumes me most nights._

Buffy took a deep breath. "So, then let's just stick to the plan. Keep our distance until a lot of time has passed, and given enough time – we should be able to…"

Buffy noticed the distant look in Angel's eyes. His head snapped up at her last few words and he swallowed hard. "Forget."

Buffy started backing towards the office door. _I feel like I am suffocating. _"Yeah. So…I'm gonna go…start forgetting."

All of a sudden, a green skinned Samurai-like demon crashed through the window behind Angel with an ear-piercing scream. He held a curved sword and a red jewel glowed on his forehead. Buffy stood and watched in amazement as Angel simply turned, grabbed the clock that sat on his desk, and threw it at the green demon, smacking it squarely in the forehead and smashing the red jewel. The demon disappeared in a flash of light.

Buffy tried to hide the fact that she was impressed with Angel's swift demon disposal. "That was unreal. How did you know how to kill it?"

Angel shrugged. "It's a Mohra demon. I – I had a lot of time to catch up on my reading." _And I've had a lot of time to cry and not feel alive._

But she slowly nodded understanding. "Yeah. Okay. So I guess we've covered it, right?" _I need to leave before my heart breaks anymore._

"I guess we did."

"And that's all there really is to say." _Ask me to stay. Ask me if I still love you. Kiss me. Do something besides let me walk away!_

Angel looked down and Buffy couldn't take it anymore. She walked out of his office, unable to hold the tears in anymore. But she did hold them in long enough to brush past Cordelia and Doyle, mumbling a goodbye before grabbing her bag and rushing out.

As soon as she stepped into the sun, Buffy burst into tears. She couldn't stop the love she felt when she saw him. She also couldn't shake the feeling that something else had happened in that room that was beyond her comprehension – beyond her ability to remember.

She noticed her watch read 9:10am. She was only inside for 15 minutes, but she felt like she must have been there much, much longer than that. But she knows nothing else happened besides her walking in, the two of them talking, the demon-y disturbance, more talking, and then her leaving.

Buffy took her time to walk to her father's apartment building. It gave her time to collect her thoughts. Angel had looked good, just like Willow said. He wasn't alone; he had people working with him to help fight the forces of darkness. They had agreed to move on.

That made her think of Riley back in Sunnydale. She could tell he was interested in her. She was beginning to become interested in him. Her heart will always belong to Angel, but maybe she should give Riley a chance. Maybe she should try to have the normal relationship Angel had left her to have.

Buffy sighed. She knew that no one would be able to fill the hole in her heart that has formed and grown since Angel walked away. No one would be able to make her feel so alive inside.

But at least she can try and move on.


End file.
